What a year....

Dear Lord,

I pray that this morning I can reflect on Your words and receive answers for my questions and receive comfort from my struggles. Please guide me with your Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name. Amen.

After having read books that show Jesus is indeed the Messiah the Jews have been waiting for for hundreds of years, it's time to be changed by that knowledge. I have become and confessed to be a disciple of Christ. Yet, as years passed, my cross has become heavier. As it grows heavier, my decision to follow Jesus has been tested. Never has the cross been so real in my life as this current year.

Joe was in the hospital for one month (Feb to March). We moved to the states in April. Had to look for jobs May to July. Had to pay back child support for 5 months. Had to accept that we can't have a house of our own for who knows how long. Had to face the fact of overwhelming debts. Had to adjust to becoming a stepmom and the whole complicated structure that goes with it. Had to constantly battle with my husband to find my role and place in in his priorities. Had to learn knew set of skills for the new job in the bank. Had to commit costly mistakes before I learned how to balance my cash drawer. Have to build new relationships in a new country with a new culture. Have to now wrestle with all my emotions and thoughts and struggles in dealing with and facing all these episodes and changes in my life.

Whew! God, I was not prepared for this. I just hope that You keep me near you as the storm passes. I pray that I don't say, do, think things that can cause my family, my marriage, my husband, and other people damage (as the storm passes). I pray that I stay faithful to You and your word and your ways and trust You. Please allow this phase of my life to produce fruits that will last.

I pray for my husband to be close to You and to come to a new and higher level in his walk with You. Please carry him as well.

I love you Lord. Amen.