A prayer for my first love

Dear God,

Good morning! Thanks for allowing me to pray by doing what I think I do best...writing. When I write, I feel a sense of solitude and insight. I feel like I'm able to express my heart better when I write than when I talk. I hope You don't consider it less worshipful. I do want to worship You right now and pray from my heart. Please bless this time.

Father, the Bible says that it is not wise to ask, "Why were the old days better than these?" Ecc. 7:10. It also says that we should forget what is behind and press on toward what's ahead to win the prize. Paul says that this is what mature Christians do. They don't keep looking back, they move on and press on. They live up to what they've already attained and don't keep sliding back to old ways. Phil. 3:14-15

But the Bible also says to not forget what the Lord has done for us.

I need to analyze this Lord because I keep referring to my past in order to refresh my memory of the state of my "first love".Those days were certainly better days in my walk with You. Yet, what you want me to do is take what I have learned from those days and apply it to the present. And then look forward to the future -- which is being with Christ someday.

I can relate so much to the Church of Ephesus in Revelations 2:

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting.

But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches. 6 But this is in your favor: You hate the evil deeds of the Nicolaitans, just as I do." (NLT)

At first glance, there seemed to be nothing wrong with the Ephesians. They seem like most of us, like most of our churches: hard work, patient endurance, sin is not tolerated, keepers of the truth, patiently suffering without quitting."

Yes, I'm a lot like them. Like the Ephesians, I don't love You, Lord nor my brothers and sisters the way I did at first. I was all about you before. I remember how grateful, fired up, zealous I was about my relationship with You. You were first in everything: my day, my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, my priorities. You intoxicate me. Thoughts of You filled me each day.

I also loved my brothers and sisters more. I was unconditional. I went out of my comfort zone and walked the extra mile for them. I didn't care how much, how far, I had to go in order to "minister" to those who were weak.

I also loved the lost more. I was constantly compelled by the Spirit to share my faith. It was a sacred duty and passion to save souls for You .

I have indeed lost my first love.

I have allowed memories of pains to cloud my mind and numb my heart to the needs of others. I have let complacency dwell in my life long enough to suppress my passion for You. I have regaled in my past "achievements" and "rested my laurel" of faith. I have let the flesh rule over my body, rather than the Spirit. Yet, in all these, I sometimes blame it on the "events" that happened in the chuch. I am full of cobwebs. How do I get free?

Lord, let me not wait for a human to spur me to repentance. Let me not "wait" for the congregation to repent before I do. Let me not wait for a rebuke or a discipline. Use the power of the Holy Spirit to cause a great reversal in me with the same power that rose Jesus from the dead.

Lord, loosen the cobwebs of complacency, sinful nature, laziness, compromise, apathy, selfishness in my heart. Free me like a gazelle from these because they hinder me from running the race as to win the prize.

I pray this for the whole church as well. I pray that together, as your body, we will once again travel the road of our first love. Let us always be motivated by this because it is the most excellent way.

Let our love endure forever like yours does. Please help us Lord.

In Jesus' name. Amen.