Longing for God

Dear Lord,

How are you?

I'm sure you're fine as always -- steady, enduring, everlasting, never changing-- just being who you are-- the God of the universe.

Now, how am I? That's a different story.

Lord, it's that time in my life when I hope I can just hibernate--be in my own shell, my own world, take some time to just rest....just rest, rest, rest. And then, start all over again.

I wonder if I'll ever get that much neede rest, recuperation, refreshment in this world. It seems to me that life just gets more and more complicated. The more you live it, the more you realize how meaningless and futile it is.

Lord, can you please give me some rest? I kinda relate with David in one of his psalms when he was asking for some kind of rest from his enemies. I just want rest from the business of life and time off to just be with myself and relax. I wonder if my husband will even let me.

I'm afraid it's a breakdown that was bound to happen after all that we've been through and are still going through the last two years. I never had time to relax and chill since the time Joe got hospitalized. It's just get up from your fall, and then keep in walking even though you're weary.

I am liking for that time of refreshment when I can run and not grow weary and walk and not get tired and be renewed in my strength like the eagle's wings. Those who trust in you.

Lord, how am I to learn this kind of trust that pleases you so much? Please teach me. The best moments of my life are those spend closely with you. The romantic walk with you, one of wonderful love, exhilirating, inspiring, sustaining.

Father, I want you to know that I am loyal to you and I long for you and I belong to yOu. Even in moments like these, you own my heart. I am never complete without your love and presence in my life. Please revive my heart. I love you Lord. Help me please.

Amen.